Independence
A quality lauded by our nation’s history, and in our current society, a
goal that we should strive to become. And in some areas and places and times,
this is true. But generally, overall, can a Christian be independent and have
it be a good thing? Can independence be a sin and/or really bad and dangerous
idea?
First of all, we all we know that we are to be dependent on God. That is a
lesson that takes a lifetime to learn and master, but most of us would agree
it’s where we need to be.
Then there is the fact that we are all individuals, wonderfully unique.
BUT we must learn to be inter-dependent while with the family we are born into,
and later as we may marry and have children. We marry and are independent wit
hour parents (but still respectful!), and we enter into a relationship with our
spouse that is dependent in nature. We keep our individuality, and our
relationship with the Lord, but independence in a marriage and family setting
is very detrimental to the whole. This can look like selfishness or a separate
life, one’s needs and wants being placed above the other, or our children, or
the family unit. Or it can look passive, physically present, but emotionally
and spiritually living independent in our own world. If communication is
lacking or difficult or shut down, independence will probably thrive.
Selfishness and fear and self protection, pride, self-reliance can foster
independence as well.
What about the Church? We may have grown up in a church setting where
members are very independent (come for message, and go home to do our own
thing). But what does healthy dependence, while keeping our uniqueness and the
Holy Spirit within us, look like in a true fellowship relationship? With the
multiple bible passages on “one anothering” found in the new testament
communities, we see there would have to be a dependence on one another. There
would have to be accountability, honesty, and transparency. There would have
to be helping and receiving help. I would know your struggles and business, and
you would know mine. There would have to be sharing problems/situations and
receiving help. We would have to show our very hearts! Scary and hard stuff for
some of us!
But how can you exhort, admonish, warn, correct, refine, help, pray for,
speak into, if we are not in close, honest fellowship, knowing, and being
known, and spending time together? How can we live a Christian life with closed
doors, closed minds, closed hearts, closed life? If we are distant or
close the door on others knowing us, or walking with us, or insisting on walking
our own path alone, have we not closed the door on Christ, himself?
If it is as we believe from reading the New Testament, that He has commanded us
to live in inter-dependent community, with one another as His Body, and we are
distant, closed off, hidden, unaccountable, we are in rebellion to Him and the
ways He has declared His Bride to live. Startling words, but is this correct?
Is there any such thing as an independent, go-it-alone, Christian?
Yes we will always have the Holy Spirit to guide us, but we can often
mistake another voice for His Voice when we are living independently. Yes, the
Lord might call us for a time or season to literally live on a desert island,
but is that the norm and the common way that He intends His people to
live?
Lord, search our hearts, and show us if there are hidden places in our
hearts where we are living in an unholy independent way with you, our family,
our spouse, or the Church. Lord show us where we are trying to go it alone or
withdraw because of fear or pride or to keep from hearing Your voice or to
protect ourselves from hurt. Lord show us the times and ways to be healthily
independent, but always with an eye to being lovingly dependent. Lord teach us
individually and as a Body what it means to be dependent on You and dependent on
one another. Direct and correct us in each situation and interaction.
Amen
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